Fathers in 2005

Excerpt of a conversation I had with J when I was over at her office using her PC and MSN-ing.

Me: Hhmm...my dad's away. Must be out for lunch still.

J: Your dad's on MSN too??? Mine also!!!

Me: Cool huh?! But sure felt weird at the beginning when he started. Like he's around all the time. Ha! Used to type darn slow. One finger per letter...now knows how to use emoticons and initiate audio convo somemore.

J: *lol* Mine sends me files too! What do you talk to him about?

Me: Well, sometimes he asks me whether I'm coming home for dinner.

J: Mine too! *lol*

Me: *lol*

Seems to me like our dads are getting younger at heart. It's true I tell you. My dad has a more advanced mobile and lappie than myself! He downloads songs to his mobile and burns DVDs from his lappie. What's more he has the latest Casio digicam! His 'toys' my mom says.

Hhmm, which makes me wonder who is the UPdated and OUTdated one in real fact. *squeamish* I'm now pressured by my own self to keep up with him.

Anyhow, cheers to all the cool dads today! :) For mine, you rock daddy!

Right but Wrong

Came across the article below in The Star which was published some time back. FF and I were so into the topic when I was still working with her. A friend e-mailed me the same article recently. So, I've had a double dosage of it. Therefore, would like to share it if you have not come across it yet. Sharing IS caring after all :) For those of you who have read it, I'm sure a bulk of sighs came out huh? That is, if you've been there and done that.

**********

When Mr Right comes at the wrong time…

Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it

SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.

Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.

We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.

He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.

I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.

I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enroll for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.

So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. =
Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.

But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only...what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.

**********

Correct me if I'm wrong. In considerance of our mortal time here on earth, all we want is to be happy with life and love. Sigh, so true about timing...we can't plan ahead on meeting the right one when the time is right. The world does not revolve this way unfortunately. We can only hope that when fate decides to shuffle and deal its cards, it will be to our favour.

Someone said to me once, there is no such thing as the right one...we make someone the right one. I begged to differ in full spirit. I believed/still believe (am confused on my believe status now) that somehow, someone out there is meant just for us and when the cosmics are aligned, you'll connect with them and the rest they say is like all fairytales are...happily ever after...where nothing is impossible...where two hearts joined by one love can and will withstand anything that goes against their tide. Yes, a true idealist in every way I am/was (still undecided). I've gone to great lengths in the name of love...

Maybe he was right... perhaps I am/was (status still undetermined) wrong. I don't know.

For in all my faith, I've been granted a hope of deliverance from the concept of the One and because of this, two thoughts have been orbiting on my mind lately. One of which I have previously brought up.

...If we think someone is the One but things do not work out and we end up with another, could this another actually be the real One for us?...

and

...If you think someone's the right one but circumstances equate that it's simply wrong timing, then it's not meant to be even if your heart screams their name. For if it was, everything should fall, should be in its place accordingly...

Educate me please, if you may.

_Idealist flying half mask_

Past Tense

I am the girl who was called 'Peaches' by her family and relatives as she was by far the cutest and fattest baby.

I am the girl who at 7 was bullied by this mean older girl and unwillingly surrendered her brand new pictorial dictionary to.

I am the girl who kept a diary when she was 12, brought it to school only for it to be found and read by her two classmates whom she had crushes on.

I am the girl who was an ugly duckling and wished she was a beautiful swan.

I am the girl who you said linked you back to sanity.

I am the girl who strongly rooted for Korea to beat Italy during the 2002 World Cup.

I am the girl who foolishly believed that love will never hurt and that her future husband would be her first and last boyfriend.

I am the girl who was shocked and screamed her lungs out in the middle of a night when she realized she was hugging a stray cat to sleep that came into the house and made its way to her room.

I am the girl who used to stay more days in a week with her aunt than her parents because she hated where she lived.

I am the girl who was always one of the guys but not the object of their affections.

I am the girl who wiped the blood off your forehead when you got into a gang fight one day and who became your girlfriend on the same day itself.

I am the girl who won the Spelling Bee in school because someone failed to spell the word ‘College’.

I am the girl who used to wear 6 rings in different fingers.

I am the girl who was the reason you worked hard for 9 months to buy an air ticket and a 'sparkling' gift to visit and to celebrate her 21st birthday with.

I am the girl who sucked her milk bottle until she was 8.

I am the girl who longed to be popular and liked by the guys in high school.

I am the girl who's best friend said he'll bring home if he didn't have a girlfriend.

I am the girl who was a kleptomaniac and stole baby tees of a then famous brand every Friday.

I am the girl who wanted to have long hair but couldn’t because she had eczema and vowed to keep it waist long when she grew out of the allergy.

I am the girl who had hope and faith that love could make a difference and change the ways of the world.

I am the girl who would have sold her soul to have you back again.

I am the girl who said she would never wear contact lenses and dye her hair but ate her words as she swears by her beloved contacts now and can’t remember how many times her hair has been bleached already.

I am the girl who sneaked into clubs at 15 with a fake IC.

I am the girl who had a weakness for petite guys.

I am the girl who was a late bloomer and wished her breasts would spring out because she was ashamed of her flat airport landing strip chest.

I am the girl who watched 5 mins of porn and said that's enough.

I am the girl who defied her parents for you and almost died because of it.

I am the girl whose father cradled her in his arms and sung to on the nights when her mother was working the late shift.

I am the girl who borrowed a pair of shoes one size too small, raved from night till morning light and because of this had black blood clogged toes for 2 years, only for someone to sit on it when it was finally cleared which led to 6 more months of gothic looking toes.

I am the girl who was anti-smoking and used to flick the cigarette off a friend’s fingers when he was enjoying a stick.

I am the girl who wanted to be just like you, in everything and anything you are.

I am the girl whose friends said, “It’s Us or Him.”

I am the girl who was meant to be taller as her fingers and feet do not exactly suit her height.

I am the girl who agreed to marry her best friend should they not be by the time their 28 but this same person became her boyfriend and broke her heart.

I am the girl who rammed her Kancil into a van within the first week of receiving it as a birthday present.

I am the girl who was the cause of her mother running away from home for a week because she was persistently doing something against her warnings and wishes.

I am the girl whose nose bled for the first and only time on her 14th birthday while she was in the bus on the way home from celebrating.

I am the girl who failed to get a full certificate in college because she flunked her Math.

I am the girl who drove all the way to your house at 3 am in the morning because you said you needed someone to hug.

I am the girl who was given a second chance in life in 1999.

I am the girl who fell into a drain together with her new yellow bicycle when she was 5 and didn’t realize she had stitches from it till she was 17.

I am the girl who you said if things did not work out between, it would be because of me wanting to leave for in your heart and eyes I was the One, and you were right.

I am the girl whose name was given by a Fortune Teller who predicted that it will bring her luck and prosperity.

I am the girl who opened the toilet door with a coin when her Aunty was busy in it even when she was told not to.

I am the girl who had it all at one point in her life but still felt something was missing and because of this sense of absence, followed her heart and ventured the road less travelled.

I am the girl who was a full blown idealist.

I am the girl who swore she'll never forgive those who wronged her.

I am the girl who lied to you for my own selfish reason just to have you by my side.

I am the girl who said she would never do something she stood her ground for but succumbed to doing it anyway.

I am the girl who didn’t know Stevie Wonder was blind.

I am the girl who wanted godparents because her brother had his.

I am the girl who woke up to chickenpox on her 17th birthday.

I am the girl who to her dismay, frustratingly got teased with you relentlessly but who ended up harbouring feelings for you for 3 years straight.

I am the girl who used to have Maggi Mee almost every night before heading to bed.

I am the girl who used to record her voice with her red mini radio while reading her storybooks and played it back after to hear how she sounded like.

I am the girl who slept with huge red scissors beside her.

I am the girl who disliked her organ teacher and would not open the door for her when she came for lessons.

I am the girl who wanted muscles on her shapeless legs and tiptoed every night for half an hour till she was numbed out, hoping to develop some.

I am the girl who hated drinking milk when she was a child and preferred Milo instead.

I am the girl who learned how to eat chilli, leafy veggies and sushi in Australia.

I am the girl who dreamed of caramel, thought of cinnamon and longed for you.

All in all...

I am the girl yesterday, who is the girl today and is to come, the girl tomorrow.

Good or Bad. Happy or Sad.

I am she and she is me.

- Forever and for always -

**********

Amazing what you can recall, the happenings throughout the years when you start a list like this. Like taking a speedy trip down memory lane of what has occured in your life so far. A quick flashback. I was inspired after reading Minishorts's. Am sure the list would have stretched if my tummy had not started to rumble. Hhmm, have I motivated you to start your own? *wondering*

Bladder Bond

Been wanting to blog on this but needed to be sure before I did. Did not want to excite myself for nothing being the drama queen that I am. You see, the Ladies where I work is not inside my office. It's a shared toilet with the other offices within the same floor. So there's some walking to do if nature calls.

This is the thing.

Everytime when I go take a pee or whatever, I will bump into this elderly lady, around her 40s from the opposite office. Anytime of the day and a few times at that, I tell you. I just came back from the toilet and there she was, washing her hands. This morning, she was going in when I was checking my makeup. The day before she was exiting when I entering. Usually I have a limit of 3 to confirm something but this time I waited longer. Around 2 weeks. And for 2 weeks this has been happening!

What's the chances of two people having the same bladder control?!

Somebody explain if you can.

By the way, cool looking apple toilet seats huh? :). Very slim at the neck like the new pencil-thin IPod Nano (I want!!!). Also reminds me of the Power Rangers characters though their colours might not be the same.

Hhmm, I'm planning to go to the loo again before the work day's over and I'm thinking...will I meet my bladder bonding friend again for the last time today? I shall find out soon enough...

This posting shall end with the purple Toilet Fairy blessing all who come across my blog. Ha ha. *tickled*

Everything to Somebody

At this very moment...

someone is very proud of you
someone is thinking of you
someone cares about you
someone misses you
someone wants to talk to you
someone wants to be with you
someone hopes you aren't in trouble
someone is thankful for the support you have provided
someone wants to hold your hand

someone hopes everything turns out all right
someone wants you to be happy
someone wants you to find them
someone is celebrating your successes
someone wants to give you a gift
someone think you ARE a gift
someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot
someone wants to hug you
someone loves you

someone wants to lavish you with small gifts
someone admires your strength
someone is thinking of you and smiling
someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on
someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun
someone thinks the world of you
someone wants to protect you
someone would do anything for you
someone wants to be forgiven
someone is grateful for your forgiveness

someone wants to laugh with you about old times
someone remembers you and wishes you were there
someone needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody values your advice
someone wants to tell you how much they care
someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone wants to share their dreams with you
someone wants to hold you in their arms
someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms
someone treasures your spirit
someone wishes they could STOP time because of you
someone can't wait to see you

someone wishes that things didn't have to change
someone loves you for who you are
someone loves the way you make them feel
someone wants to be with you
someone hears a song that reminds them of you
someone wants you to know they are there for you
someone is glad that you're their friend
someone wants to be your friend

someone stayed up all night thinking about you
someone is alive because of you
someone is wishing that you would notice them
someone wants to get to know you better
someone believes that you are their soul mate
someone wants to be near you
someone misses your guidance and advice
someone values your guidance and advice
someone has faith in you
someone trusts you
someone needs your support
someone needs you to have faith in them
someone needs you to let them be your friend
someone will cry when they read this

You could be one, a few of the above to many and/or everything to somebody...

_______________________________________________________________

_To the world you may be One person, but to One person you may be the world_

_______________________________________________________________

Ripping One's Heart Out

Maybe we'll live and learn...
Maybe we'll crash and burn...
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return...
Maybe another fight, maybe we won't survive...
Maybe we'll grow...we never know...
We don't know which way to go...

Sometimes its heaven sent...
Then we head back to hell again...
We kiss then we make up on the way...
I hang up, you call...
We rise and we fall...
Right in the thick of love, sometimes we get sick of love...
And we feel just like walking away...

This ain't a movie, ain't no fairytale...

Gets more confusing everyday and again...

We're just ordinary people...

As love advances and we take second chances...

- John Legend 'Ordinary People'

Interesting Friday Stories

My hyper syndrome has kicked off again. Every weekend or so when I hope to sleep late and cherish my bed at least till noon, I will experience a round of hyperness. The next few days, well the whole weekend actually will see me being absolutely wide awake. Once Friday hits, it's as though a gush of energy will envelope me, turning me into Hyper Woman. Think She-Ra when she draws out her sword minus the costume changes and the enhanced boobs and minimal waist line. Come Monday, I'm back to my weakling self, all withered and exhausted. Needing much sleep.

At 5.00 am this morning, I assumed my superheroin side. Yes, crazy biatch me huh? I am aware that a high majority of you were definitely still biting your pillows or salivating over dreams. As for yours truly here, I hopped right out of bed and hit the showers. Left home by 7 and on my way to work, I heard 3 rather entertaining stories over the radio.

Story 1

In Nepal, woman are confined to a cow shed during their menstrual cycle. However, feminist groups are currently campaigning to abolish this tradition.

Imagine...how one's out of office message would read.

_I shall be out of the office for the next 3 days. Will be on CSL (Cow Shed Leave). I will attend to you once my uterus has decided it has bled enough. For any urgent matters, kindly contact the office for the CS has yet to provide any mobile coverage or WiFi. Any inconvenience caused is regretted but who's experiencing inconvenience NOW, anyway? ME or you? So there you have it. Thank you and have a nice day :) _

Story 2

Sandra Bullock has a new addition to her family. A 3 legged dog.

Kudos to Sandra for adopting the doggy! Do you know it is said that she is much more beautiful than she appears to be on screen? The screen does not do her beauty justice according to those who have had the chance in meeting her face to face.

Story 3

A woman hired someone to murder her boyfriend's 'girlfriend' who is pregnant with his child. The so-called hired assassin did not complete the job and what does she do? She files a complaint at the police station.

I was dumbfounded when I heard this one. Gosh Woman! What was going through your head!!!

There's a simple connection between these 3 stories. They all involve women. Story 1 - Women Abuse, story 2- Women Power and for story 3 - sigh, I can't figure out a suitable one other than pure Women Stupidity. Let me know if anyone can come up with something better.

Needless to say there are many types of women just like there are various kinds of men out there. We colour the males who come our way whether vividly with bright colours or splat the dark tones away on their canvas and vice versa with men who influence and affect us females one way or another, either with a deep impact or mildly like a flying kiss.

Gonna end this posting with some quotes from women and words that have been said of women.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

- Elayne Boosler

There are easier things to life than finding a nice guy, like nailing jelly to a tree for example.

- Anonymous

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

- Helen Rowland

A woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.

- Jules Michelet

Why haven't women got labels on their foreheads saying, "Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends.

- Unknown

Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent but because they are themselves.

- Henri Frederic Amiel

Women are like the stars. Only one can make your dreams come true!

- Anonymous

There are no ugly women. Only lazy ones.

- Helena Rubinstein

Being a woman is a difficult task since it consists principally of dealing with men.

- Joseph Conrad

She has the loaded handbag of someone who camps out and seldom goes home, or who imagines life must be full of emergencies.

- Mavis Gallant

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful that man might lover her; and foolish that she might love him.

- Anonymous

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?

- Oscar Wilde

Last but not least my favourite...

I am my Own Woman.

- Evita Peron

Here's to a good weekend ahead, ladies and gentlemen. Women, be merry and enjoy your Men. Men, be good to and love your women :).

What's my plan tonight? Seeing both sexes STOMP around and sweat away for a few hours.

The Hyper Woman in Me

The Moon

"_Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows anybody_"

- Mark Twain

What phase of your moon are you showing today?

Are you a whole moon or a half one?

Are you shining brightly in full circle or concealing selected surfaces?

Bite Me

It's almost been a week since our last encounter. We were oblivious to each other and were introduced by Mr. Italian who was convinced you'll bring more smiles to my already lit up like a miniature Christmas tree face. He was right. You undeniably, inevitably did. You have been a favourite in my life. Every now and then, I do long and crave for you. Evenmore when you're available, within my reach, just an order away. You are so very inviting, making me wanna succumb every single time but knowing the power you have over me, self control is necessary. Too much of you will change me...sideways.

Nevertheless, I succumbed that fateful night again but this time you were different. It was a whole new you. Contradicting feelings you usually evoke in me were heightened, increased to a greater level. You made me feel extra warm and at the same time sent super striking shivers down my spine unlike any other you I've tasted before. Although you were shared with another, you have made a mark in my senses, my inner tastebuds and I can't help but think of this new you everytime I walk down the street, passing by the memorable place where destiny decided to weave its magic and intertwined us as one - mouth, tongue, stomach....

I've found the perfect you.

You are a sinful indulgence but I can't help myself.

My melting sensation...we shall be together again soon.

I'm a genuinely SWEET person...*gasp*

It's test time again thanks to BD. A whopping 9 pages long but if you have the time...no harm in trying, right? Hey, I did mine at 5.39am in the morning so I'm sure anyone can finish it. What's more, I got to see dominating female illustrations as below and share it....nice :).

********************

The Window Shopper - Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD) Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper. You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Your exact opposite: The Stiletto Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns. Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.

BEWARE: The Hornivore CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

********************
What do I think? It's a pretty much accurate result for me. Accuracy rate? Around 65% I reckon. Very true statements in some instances. Hhmm, I wonder whether his will be compatible with mine...

Curious yourself??? Check it out at http://www.okcupid.com/oktest. Enjoy!

Lost

I feel that I have lost my cause, lost the reason why I do what I do, loss my ideals.

-Veritas

Was trying to find the proper words to express the way I felt the whole of yesterday.

I couldn't...but someone did.

I hereby decree my status as a Lost Idealist.

Pecularities & Similarities

Blissful Delirium (www.blissfuldelirium.blogdrive.com) and I seem to be tuned on the same wavelength...planets on the same orbit. First felt the ‘connection’ when I read one of her postings. We are indeed partners in habits.

Here’s part of her posting to prove it.

-Whenever I have locked my car, and after walking away (quite a distance, mind you) from the car park, a nagging feeling that keeps telling me that I haven't locked my car always tag along me. (Me too!)

-I always sit with my legs crossed.

-I always place my spoon and fork downwards after finishing a meal. I have yet come across a gentleman who does that, usually it's faced upwards. (Me too!)

-I key in the zone alphabet and number of the area I park my car in, in shopping malls under the SMS function. (Me too!)

-I write to myself when I'm extremely down or angry. (Me too!)

-I must have breakfast the moment I wake up. Can't function without breakfast, hehe.

-I like to chew on ice. (Me too!)

-I play with the straw with my mouth after finishing my drink during mamak sessions.

-Every night, I always sleep on my left first. (Me too!)

-I can't go by 3 days without a vigorous exercise.

-I can't stand messiness and hairs on the floor. (Me too!)

-I can't stand clogged sinks. (Me too!)

-I avoid chopsticks as much as possible, yea yea, call me a lousy Chinese all you want. (Me too!)

-I have never done reverse parking in my whole entire life.

-I speak English to both my brother and dad and Cantonese with mum. It's been like this eversince I was a kid. Would be awkward & weird to speak Canto with my dad and EVEN weirder with my bro.

-I still kiss my brother whenever I see him. He's 18 this year by the way.

And the latest entry to this list...
-There's this sink in our new office which we utilize for washing our hands, mugs, etc and it is placed outside of the office. So everytime you need to wash something, you need to step out of the office and walk, say, about 1 metre to the sink.

So, what habit could Angie develop from a sink as such?

The sink needs to be shut tight. Even more tighter than the usual taps I would say. So most of the time, whenever I walk past the sink, sounds of water dripping melodically can be heard. So what do I do?
Do I ignore and walk away? In hope that someone else will turn it off?
Do I pretend I didn't hear it?
Or being a nice person I am, walk towards the sink and turn it off?
You guys know the answer. Yes, that's how pathetic and anal I am. Sometimes I tried ignoring it as I have walked quite a distance away from it but YET I would still make a U-Turn and walked all the way to the sink - just to turn it off! (Me too!)

Being me is tough huh?

Lady, may I say being US is tough…but it's nice to know that we are not alone huh? :)

Yesterday I found more similarities during our first conversation on MSN together thanks to KG who happens to be the degree of separation between us. To an extent, he now says we were genetically engineered at birth.

- We like to eat McD’s sundae with fries

- We like stars and moons

- We like Charles & Keith shoes

- We both studied Mass Comm

- We both love the colour purple

- We both get cold easily and have moved under the dryer in the toilet to warm our bodies

Today was the day we finally came face to face. Popped by KG's office for lunch and there was BD, walking towards me in pretty pink to open the door. She works in KG's office by the way.

More discoveries during lunch.

- We both have nose rings or rather she used to have one until it closed up.

- We both used to play musical instruments. She the piano. I the organ.

- We both have younger brothers.

Talk about two peculiar souls joined by KG. This is bizarre...

Here’s another thought. You see, FF who is my ex colleague prior to knowing me actually knew KG beforehand. I merely re-established the connection. We also share similarities but on a different level. Ours is not about weird obsessions but on our views on life, love and on the statistics of our families e.g. one brother, same age, parents got married on the same year etc. And oh yes, we’re both Capricornians and true diehard ones at that ! *luv ya babe*

Hhmm, KG seems to be the connection between me and my sistas in similarities. Furthermore, told me yesterday that he just hooked up two friends in Melbourne. What a hooker! Oops!

This just in! Fresh!

I asked, "What do you feel like doing tonight?"

He said, "I feel like going downtown and being a slut..."

Need I say more?! He he :)

Comparing

I compare. You compare. We all compare. It’s part of our nature. It’s a matter of whether we make it public or keep it hidden in the confines of our hearts. Yes, we might tell ourselves we shouldn’t but comparing thoughts are inevitable, unavoidable and we can’t help but discriminate in instances. To a certain extent, it’s almost natural to compare. Let’s talk in the context of love and relationships.

FACQs - Example of Frequently Asked Comparing Questions

- Who is a better kisser?
- Who is better looking?
- Who is better in bed?
- Who is better in football?
- Who is a better dancer?
- Who treats you better?
- Who is better in keeping their promises?
- Who buys more gifts for you?
- Who showers more love on you?
- Who has more muscles?
- Who gives you more attention?
- Who understand you more?
- Who gives you more space?
- Who has a bigger d**k?
- Who has bigger b**bs?
- Who has a bigger bank account?
- Who has a bigger house?
- Who has a bigger heart?

From a simple point of view, added with some straight shallow thinking, the bigger, the more, the better right? We do want what's best for us after all. The selfish and greedy gene comes to play every so often. It is when we accept the flaws and imperfections and learn to love someone for who...how...and what they really are...that we learn to love with no maybes.

All of a sudden I'm thinking of Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets when he said "You make me wanna be a better man..." to Helen Hunt's character. That has gotta be one of the less mushy love lines ever used yet it is so effective. It carries such a welcomed weight on the one who's saying it and to the one who it is expressed to, it means so much knowing that they're an inspiration to change for the better. A reason to change.

If we could, how many of us would like to order that perfect love specimen? With all of the above that suit our requirements, tailor made, and packaged completely in one person just for us and us alone...gift wrapped with a big red ribbon (purple for me!) and addressed to us, to have and to hold. I would...but would that be the real thing?

What do I do with Charles, Keith & Michael?

I need a holiday...or rather I WANT a holiday...whether I deserve one or not is entirely unrelated...I feel drained. Need a recharge. Battery's running out. Work has piled up and just the thought of the next few days is already absorbing my energy. If I were Rogue I would grab me a cute guy and suck the lifeforce out of him, keeping him in my room for a few days...unfortunately for me and thankfully for him I'm not.

Sigh...a retreat, a breakaway will be good for a few days...just hanging around...being the monkey that I am...doing whatever I like, whenever I like, wherever I like. Swinging here and there...everywhere. Here I am ranting about a holiday when work is not completed yet let alone start for that matter! Oh well, we whine and we dine! And tonight I'll be having a Japanese affair...Sukiyaki here I come!

Michael BoOoBLaAY will be having a one nighter in Singapore on the 10th of 10. I'm not so much of a diehard fan but the thought of hearing him croon 'Kissing A Fool' live is tempting and getting my hands on a few pairs of Charles & Keith's Autumn Collection makes the thought even more inviting...

Or...I could just click the SHOP NOW button and end my relentless pursuit of surfing their site countless. Who knows?! They might have an unannounced contest where the visitor of the month (based on the highest number of visits) will win an entire range of customised, specially designed- for- them shoes. To keep! To strut in! Who knows........RIGHT?!!!

Hhmm...this IS wishful thinking *pinch*. Back to reality for now...

What does Starbucks, CoffeeBean & SanFran Coffee have in common?

Bought a cake at 8.15am today for the one I report to at work aka The Boss.

"Guess what cake?!" I asked a colleague of mine.

Cheesecake? Nope.
Chocolate? Nope.
Chiffon? Nope.

Asked another colleague.

Chocolate? Cheesecake? Strawberry? Fruit? Cappucino?

"Ha! Close!" I said.

The cake of the day is......C-o-f-f-e-e!

Hhmm, 4 Cs found in 4 different types of cakes. What other cakes begin with C? I wonder...

Anyway word of advice for those who have not been to the Aquarium at the KLCC Convention Centre - If you don't have a MyKad, do not waste your time in going for you have to pay an additional 10 bucks on top of the RM28 entry fee.*bitter*. "Apparently" the management is working together with the government on this but then again no MyKad is scanned, no recording is done whatsoever when a ticket is purchased! *hhmmpph!*

Furthermore, if you think you're gonna be diving into an underwater haven filled with vast creatures of the sea, don't build your hopes too high. Perhaps I did. All in all, 3 out of 4 that went thought it was a let down which accounts to 75% of voters. The remaining 25% thought it was OK and not too bad.

Statistics of Voters.

Age range:
25 - 35 years, 50% have been reported not to look their age as identification was requested upon entry to a club recently
Attire:
75% wore jeans (50% being the original Levi's jeans), 25% wore a skirt. 50% wore black, 25% bright, 25% grey
Shoes See: An even distribution of 25% Hush Puppies loafers, 25% sporty Nike, 25% Vincci pointies, 25% Vincci clogs
Sleep input night before:
75% more than 6 hours, 25% had a restless night
Had traumatic encounters of any kind with any underwater inhabitant that might influence results: nil (recorded)
Sex: 50% red, hot-blooded males, 50% crazy, sexy, cool females
Nicotine dependant: 75%
Would like to own a dolphin if they could: 25%
Fish meat as favourite meat preference: 25%
Drive a Malaysian made car i.e. have the Malaysia Boleh spirit so called, Automotively at least: 75%
Were hungry before/during the visit: 50%
Were looking at kids more than fishes: 50%
Feeling unsatisfied with the management before entry: 25% (take a wild guess who!)
Had a sleeping agenda after the visit: 25%
Have been said to resemble the Wrasse fish after the visit: 25%
Blog Savvy: 50% have an active blog, 25% unactive, 25% blogging clueless
Astrological Signs: An even distribution of 25% Capricorn, 25% Aries, 25% Leo, 25% Saggitarius
Have been to the KLCC area for the past 3 weekends: 50%
Those who had seafood for lunch after the visit: 50%
Note: 100% of voters have made a prior visit to other Aquariums. Therefore, it can be said that they have the prior knowledge and experience in reviewing the quality of the visit.

So there you have it. But don't let me rain on your parade if you're planning to go. Go forth, be your own judge and tell me your thoughts if you like.

Cheers.

Sinful Me

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

One of my favourite lines from the Bible which has been playing on my mind lately. I'm not the avid church go-er kinda person. I do try and make it a point to attend service as many Sundays as I can but that's all I contribute. Sometimes I've ashamed to call myself a Christian because I don't display all the wonderful attributes that Christians are expected to carry with them. When I look at someone who's dedicated and committed to their church, by getting involved in activities, fundraising, cell groups, bible study etc, a part of me really admires them. Are their lives happier and more fulfilled than mine? Do they face the same self inflicted problems that I do? Is everything in their lives governed by the words of the Bible no matter what and they will obey regardless of how they feel?

Some church people have tried coercing me into joining their causes but I have politely declined. I can't see myself doing those things, no sirree. Maybe it's because of the way I choose to live my life and the influences that have seeped through me during my teenage years that has made me the way I am today. Not very church orientated. Not anti but somewhat reluctant. My acceptance level is just permanently low.

However, this does not relinquish the faith I have in the One above. Let's take Christianity out of the focus here and take all religion into consideration. True or false. Most of us only resort to religion when there's no other way out? When we meet a dead end in our lives and there's no mortal being who can help us in our woeful troubles?

I am guilty of this. I should change. I need to be granted the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Pre-Confession: I am skipping service tomorrow to catch up on sleep. Had a tipsy night before and am unbelievably hyper till now. Total hours of shut eye last night: 3 hours and 10 mins (6am - 7 am, 7.30 - 8.15am, 8.30am - 9.55am). To add to the excuse, I plan to visit The Aquarium and have lunch at Paddington's The Curve. Longing for #403 in the menu which is my favourite and the only thing I have when I'm there. Besides, it's what I can almost finish and stuff down my throat. In addition, I have to show my face at some work related event at 3 pm after so...

!!!Current Emotional State!!!

Agitated.Restless.Bored.Vulnerable to outbursts.Tantrum prone.Insensitive.Sulky.Attention seeking.Defensive.Irritable.

I am at war with myself. Think I should lock myself in a cupboard, throw away the key and miraculously be able to smash my way out only when the battle is over as others might suffer my wrath. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with me, myself and I. Is this all necessary I ask myself. Perhaps it is not but this is the way I feel. Sigh, the solution is simple yet so bloody effective.

Signing off, Unwell Me

The song which has been looping over and over again like a broken record on my playlist...

'Caramel' by Suzanna Vega (love it to bits)

It won't do to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long for you.

It won't do to stir a deep desire,
to fan a hidden fire
that can never burn true.

I know your name, I know your skin,
I know the way these things begin...

But I don't know how I would live with myself,
what I'd forgive of myself, if you don't go.

So goodbye, sweet appetite,
no single bite could satisfy...

I know your name, I know your skin,
I know the way these things begin...

But I don't know, what I would give of myself,
how I would live with myself
if you don't go.

It won't do to dream of caramel,
to think of cinnamon
and long for you...

Fast Forward to Friday

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

"Pooh," he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

It's fast forward to Friday when yesterday seemed like a Monday. Arrived in the office early. Made a hot cup of Milo, stirring it with a fork (spoons were unwashed and I was just too lazy) and started surfing. Stumbled upon the above. A mental picture of Piglet and Pooh's convo formed in my head and I smiled to myself. The comfort of knowing someone is around just by calling their name and that they are within your reach simply gives you a reassuring feeling. *aaaaaaaahhhhh*

I used to be like Piglet. Will call a certain someone's name for no reason and say "Nothing" for the fun of it. Now I know what to say the next time I do it again but it will apply to another presently.

I just wanted to be sure of you...

Perfect.

I'm softy and mushy today. Feel like jello. Like a bean bag. Sigh...maybe because I'm sleepy and in this dreamy floating mood. What's more Natalie Merchant's 'One Fine Day' is playing. Adds to the slow burn vortex I'm drifting in. Nothing much is on my mind. Sometimes when you think about things too much you come to a dead end for you don't know just what to focus on anymore. There are particles of thoughts but no attention is given to anything in particular. It's as though my brain needs a timeout and is running on low performance from the overtime it has chipped in to. I feel somewhat serenelike now and I will enjoy it while it lasts.

My Independance Day

It's Wednesday and back to work day. Throughout the whole of yesterday, I thought it was a Sunday which makes today feel like a Monday *squeamish*. Some issues have surfaced on the eve of the holiday which have gotten be bothered, less motivated and changed my perception towards work. Can only hope things turn out for the better. Sigh...

Casting my worries aside, what did I end up doing yesterday? A combination of two of my maybes list. I spent the entire day at a super packed KLCC , caught up with friends and bumped into one by fate. I also had my inaugural Twin Tower's skybridge visit. This happened by chance actually. MW wanted to replenish his wallet. The ATM was located where the entrance to the skybridge was and being nosy me I noticed there was a queue. I simply joined it and enquired on whether it was FOC. The attendant said "Yes" and I got 4 tickets for 3.45pm. He asked me "Are you from Japan?". I said "No, I'm from KL" and his professionalism and slang quite immediately went down the drain. Sigh...expected isn't it? Anyway...I thought cool! I've never been up there! And it would be more significant since it was Independance day.

The time came and after a short presentation of the construction of the towers, MW and I found ourselves in a lift with 4 Japanese guys, an Indonesian and a Middle Eastern family. We were escorted by a soft spoken, skinny tour guide with very girly eyes. According to Mr. Lashes, they have 75 tours a single day. That's a considerable amount of times, don't you think?

Short of our digicams and we would look like typical tourists. Did take some shots on my camera phone but due to lack of pixels, I shall not display it :(. Chilled for a while on the 41st floor and as we headed back to go down, MW remarked on a certain foreigner who he thought looked like Steven Speilberg. Took a glance and agreed with the uncanny resemblance. Could he perhaps have made a low profile visit and is scouting the towers for his next movie?! MW and I thought excitedly. Hhmm...

For the record, the past 2 weeks have seen me dedicated to KLCC. Will reach as early as 10am, have an American breakfast at Dome's and proceed to taking on the shops after. I have always enjoyed trips to KLCC. There's something about it. Like the ads that were featured on telly with the tagline 'There is always something for everyone to savour at Suria KLCC'. How inviting huh? How true! Yes yes, I'm the dream of every retail marketeer.

Something to be proud of as a Malaysian and I bet many don't know this fact - KLCC recently won the retail prize of the FIABCI Prix d' Excellence Award. It is voted on by an international panel of real estate professionals, rewards developments which show overall excellence in all aspect of their creation and entries come in from all over the world! Bravos to KLCC!

Have a quick read @ http://www.fiabci.com/article_detail.php?id=118&page_id=334&phpLang=en

What's more it's the only place where I can find clothes that fit me. Not saying I have a nice figure but let's just say I lack fat, meat or fillings in certain areas which make it hard for me find certain items of clothing. Why else do I love KLCC? Their corporate colour! It's royale purple! *grinning*

I foresee a third time in the horizon this weekend as a request has arrived for a visit to the Aquarium which was planned for yesterday but got diverted so I guess I will be KLCC bound again :). Something nice to look forward to at least...

Where was I during the countdown? In the comfort of my bathroom taking a nice hot shower. Didn't even know the clock striked midnight until I heard fireworks in the distance.