My Baby's Back...

Finally, my metallic warrior was returned to me on Saturday...though it surprisingly still smelled familiar...can't say I felt the same when I took the wheel...probably because it's been violated and tampered with by every mechanic in the workshop and didn't feel like belonged to me anymore...or perhaps because I have gotten used to driving a Waja & Perdana for almost a month. The things we learn to live with...which are better...than what we have...what the heck...Glad it's back one way or another...for mobility is crucial in the city we live...

A non-partying weekend for me again...I must say I have been pretty 'obedient' lately...have managed to wake up and stay up in church, listened AND paid attention to the entire sermon without any difficulty even though I slept late - watching the telly, yakking on the phone with homeward bounds, surfing, hanging out in my room, walking and exploring my huge home of a 1200 sq ft...I'm not proud when I say this but when I do drag myself to church after a night of partying, I tend to doze off in the midst of the congregation and I believe this has not gone unnoticed as eyes wander and people whisper. Therefore, these two weeks have been like a sabbatical from clubbing and my parents are starting to ask me of my presence at home. Hhmm....will this weekend be THE weekend that I get back into the 'clubbing' sack?

Anyway, what the weekend wasn't...a shopping hopping weekend it was indeed - KLCC, MidValley, Pyramid, The Curve and Ikano....and this has not helped my efforts in curbing my shopping tendencies...resistance is futile when it comes to shopping and I have added to my collection - 2 heels, 2 working tops, a pair of white weekend pants and a matching top to go with it. Not too bad compared to a few weeks ago where I bought 8 tops in a span of a week. I am improving!....did say No! No! No! to plenty of potential purchases. Think I need more willpower...and surges of it I might add...just zap me...Sigh, I need to be in control not be controlled...for I will no longer be contributing to the EPF soon. Career has taken a slight downturn and I am currently actively looking for the next place where I can 'so called 'nest in'...Does it occur to anyone that we spend the most hours of our day in the office? It's like we're nesting ourselves there...laying our eggs...and keeping them warm...so that when it hatches we grow from it...and move to the next stage...a more 'superior' existence.

Shall end my blog by sharing something interesting which I heard on the radio.

The word 1000 contains the letter A. But, from the word 1 - 999...there is no 'A'.

(Who comes up with things like this!?)

P/S I'm typing with my fingers...*duhhhh....which have been painted with a nice coat of purple hue aptly named 'The colour of the Zen-tury' - that belongs to a season of colours with a Japanese theme. What can I say!? The colour purple Rocks! And yes, oh yes...other than shopping, manicures and pedicures are an excellent form of therapy too :)

The weekend that belonged to the rise of Arsenal and Darth Vader...

What a good Saturday it was...

Arsenal - crowned FA Cup Winners 2005!!! What can I say?!? Lady luck was simply not on Man U's side, they dominated the match but their many attempts just weren't successful. Had an enjoyable time cheering and supporting for my favourite team and for a moment in time I forgot about my worries and shared the victory and triumph felt by Mr. Wenger and his players.

The saga ends...
Watched Star Wars and inevitable as it is, no doubt no denial...as it is written in the stars by George, Anakin Skywalker sealed his fate. He dons the stylized metal skull, and becomes the deep, heavy breathing iconic villain, Darth Vader. As has been publicised, this is the darkest of the 6 installments and I do agree. Torn in his struggle between good and evil, Anakin succumbs to the dark side not only because of his want for power and to be the most powerful Jedi but for... sigh...for L-o-v-e...and he was willing to do anything for the one he loved...

Love...love...love...once again....becomes the central part of a movie as it has been with so many in the past and quite confidently I can say will continue to be so in the future...it is our very strength...it is our very weakness...Makes us soar above the impossible but can also lead us to our downfall...can we say then that there has to be a balance to the force of love? You see, on one hand, too much love will kill you and on the other hand, sometimes it just ain't enough. The question is, should we be in love but have one feet safely rooted on the ground for say, security sake or allow ourselves to be swept away completely, and overwhelmed by our feelings? You know, love and love with all your heart not half heartedly.

In life, there will be 3 kinds of love we will experience. One, someone who we will love more than they love us. Two, someone who will love us more than we love them and three, someone who will love us with the same intensity as we love them....the perfect balance so called. Tell me if I'm wrong on this but we can go through life finding and experiencing many number Ones and Twos but like to believe and hope that somehow number Three is what's in store in the goodie bag of love for us and it will be for forever or as long as we deserve it.

As Morrie said one Tuesday, "In the end, love wins....love always wins". And in the Star Wars universe it does too...eventually in episode 6 where after all the the endless fighting, trouble, pain, suffering and darkness that he has caused directly or indirectly in the galaxy, Darth Vader renounces his evil and saves his estranged son, Luke which brings me to my point...

The root of evil, the seed of good...Love is.

3rd time unlucky...

Me and my drama with cars continues...

It is the 3rd week of May and every week has seen me having encounters of some sort with cars.

1st May - accident on the Federal Highway - my baby, Wira Aeroback

10th May - punctured tyre in the office from driving over a sharp curb - Dad's company car, Waja

16th May - scratches and dents from hitting the carpark pillar in MidValley Megamall - my dear Dad's Perdana

So there you have it...3 weeks 3 different cars and all Malaysian made...hhhmm...is it a sign that perhaps I shouldn't drive a Malaysian car??? Hope my bad luck wears out soon in other aspects of my life too because it is not entirely automotive associated...

Once again I will say that it never rains but pours...and am looking forward, hoping, wishing, praying for some sunshine after the rain. Sigh, maybe I should get a four leaf clover...

A test of Love?

Couldn't wait to blog on this so I am taking my so-called time before lunch to. This morning on the way to work, I tuned into the Hitz.Fm daily Gotcha session. For those of you who don't know, here's how it works. You can write in/ email your request and idea to play a phone prank on anyone and the morning crew will be the do-ers.

Scenario for today's prank
E calls B to tell her that C, her boyfriend has been cheating on her. Using football as an excuse to meet with D, C will get E to tell him the scores and highlights of the match so B won't suspect. E decides to spill the beans to B because he thinks it's not right and also because he is interested in B and wants to date her.

What happened
Well, B did not fall for it and said that she does not believe E. She starts asking questions as to how E got to know C, how E got her number and all. E even offered to give D's phone number to prove his story.

Therefore, the fundamental of the prank, it being a prank and someone has to fall for it didn't exactly work out. B's boyfriend, C came on air and admitted that it was him behind the prank, that the story was bullshit. Well, usually I won't think twice about the prank and proceed to switch the channel if a nice song does not play but the reason he did it was what ticked me off. He said he wanted to 'test' the love she has for him and to see whether she was true to her words that seeing is believing, hearing isn't.

My two cents worth
Gosh, if I were B...I would have felt disappointed and angry at my boyfriend, C. Firstly , for the reason being, that he thought about the joke and secondly for having the nerve in executing it. I mean didn't he weigh the consequences of his actions? Didn't he put B's feelings into consideration? How she would feel, knowing that she was put to test in front of everyone (mind you transmission covers other countries as well) that was tuning in? Perhaps no, because he was so steadfast in proving B wrong...in making a point. Come to think of it, don't know whether it's a good or bad thing it backfired. Guess it's up to them. For it's always about the two people in a relationship and we'll never know what followed after...but the point I wanna make is...do we have to resort to test the one we're with? I am aware in this time and age that not all relationships are made in heaven, most are not a bed of roses but... on national radio??!!

Yes, sometimes we do wanna hear and feel to confirm the love someone holds for us (words and actions = confirmation + affirmation). It makes us feel good, makes our heart skip a bit, makes us float on cloud 9 for a while, allows some happy in-luuuurve hormones to trigger, but there certainly has to be a limit, a boundary as to how far one can go, right? Moreover, what happens between two people should stay between two people unless it is acceptable or agreed upon. In addition...the notion, sound and meaning of the words, 'test the love' seem wrong altogether to me. Anyhow, I could be the lesser few who thinks this way but this is the way I feel...

I rest my case.

A dose of Desperate-ness...

Yes, each new day in suburbia brings a new set of lies, the worst are the ones we tell ourselves before we fall sleep. We whisper them in the dark...telling ourselves we're happy...or that he's happy...that we can change...or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves that we can live with our sins...or that we can live without him. Yes, each night before fall sleep, we lie to ourselves...in a desperate desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true...
- Desperate Housewives, episode 15, ending narrative

I am a fan of DH. I am a fan for any dramas, soap operas, any series that gives us a twisted portrayal of life. Thanks to my super download King of a bro, I have watched until episode 20 which is the most recent one shown in the US. DH is sorta like SATC and centres around the lives of not 4 singles but 4 housewives. This drama gives us a darkly comedic look at suburbia, where the secret lives of these housewives aren't always what they seem. (http://abc.go.com/primetime/desperate/about.html)

The above closing lines for a particular episode kept me thinking...to what we tell ourselves when things are not right...when we hurt...how we pacify ourselves and how our thoughts play tricks on us...how vulnerable we can get from our actions or when our feelings and emotions get the best of us...when we know the truth of the matter deep inside...It's true...Love makes us fly, but it can break our wings too...Which brings me to my next point. Humans beings are designed for many things, but loneliness isn't one of them...

MM asked me today why I watched the soap opera Bold & The Beautiful. I told him, simple...because it makes our lives appear less complicated than we think it is...Shows like BATB and DH gives us hope that we are all not so complicated after all. That perhaps we can be saved...that possibly, at the end of the day, Life really IS simple, and we only have ourselves to thank for making it complicated.

Because...

Because you should be proud of the woman in the mirror...
Because feeling good is the same thing as looking good...
Because moving is so much better than standing still...
Because the best beauty is the kind that inspires others...
Because to be truly feminine you have to be truly strong...
Because the world can always use more strong and powerful women...

Discovered these lines at the back of a Nike Women postcard. Truly FlowerPower!

Today's Friday the 13th, have not had much encounters throughout the years but *touch wood*, never say never, considering my luck lately I'm keeping my fingers and toes extra crossed.

Hope the day does not live up to its expectations for me and for everyone out there...but finds me some peace.

Over and out for now.

My Poor Unfortunate Soul....

Last week my PC was taken away for spring cleaning but other problems surfaced and I was given a lappie to use in the meantime.

Was occupied with 2 meetings towards the first half of the day. When I stepped into my office after lunch, Admin Mgr told me that the Marketing division will be taking the lappie I'm using now for an exhibition tomorrow. Yes people, this precious lappie is the only one left available and hence their cause is a far more 'noble' one than mine so I will have to go lappie-less.

What does this leave me with? Gosh, I will be disconnected from the world :( Imagine, no Internet, no MSN! Snifffff. My string of bad luck continues...what else can I say? Bring it on?! Hit me?! Give it all you've got?!

Marketing Mgr just came by to collect the lappie. I have been given 10 mins to clear everything and pack it up so this will be a short blog from me. Sigh, same old story nothing much to say, shit happens everyday...

The force is indeed not with me.

Case of Bad Karma?

Today was an error day for me. Sigh, and to think I was born on a Tuesday, don't I get special treatment? Apparently not. It really never rains but pours...thought last week's dramas were mellowing down and this week would be the 'I have to manage the situation/recovering' stages, I thought wrong for it continues today...

If you read my previous blog, I met with an accident last week and caused a jam on the Federal Highway. My car's still in the workshop and I will only get it back next week. After a week of cabs and hitching rides from friends, my dear Dad decided that I learned my lesson and gave me a company car to use. I only got it yesterday and lo and behold, don't jump to conclusions...no, I did not smash it up (thank God for this) but let me start from the beginning of the day.

My morning
***********
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was running a little off schedule. Left my home and upon reaching the Subang toll..*beeep* I drove through the Smart Tag lane with ease. The problem came when I drove through the Damansara toll...no *beeep* but *boook*...hhhmm, this does not sound right and sure enough on the screen, not RM1.00 but RM44.80 was credited off my Touch 'n Go. I was like, "Oh nooooo, not AGAIN!". You see this has happened before in March actually but not on the Smart Tag lane, on the Touch n' Go lane where RM32.24 was deducted, which was the entire amount on my card then!

Once again, history repeats itself and I headed to the Toll office. Explained what happened to the Customer Service lady and she had the nerve to say it was my fault. Hello!! Woman!! I'm the customer here...what the heck..! I so knew what will follow up next. Fill up the form and wait a month for a refund in the form of a cheque sent to my home and this was what she exactly said. After I did, keeping my cool...I told her about my previous claim and she asked me for my details. She was providing my particulars to whoever she was checking with on the phone and advertised everything, my full name, mobile number, IC number and address for she spoke in a loud tone. Swear everyone in that tiny so called Customer Service area was 'educated'. Felt so violated in a way...Thank you so much lady!

You see, the 1st card was under my dad's name and when I filed the complain, I put my name and not his so that's why no money in the postbox. How the hell was I supposed to know?!! No one asked me or told me this! And again, I filled ANOTHER form to resubmit my claim.

So now, I have two pending claims of up to RM77.04 from 2 cards and all I can do is wait...

My Evening
***********
Decided to go home for dinner and be a couch potato for tonight was 'Flower Power' Tuesday on 70 in Astro. Charmed, Zoe Busiek and Miss Match in a row - all the women! Independant! Had craving for a Limau Ais and met up with the 'Mustard Man' at the Mamak below my office. After 2 glasses, we left and I offered to drop Mustard Man in the basement where his car was. Car was parked at the corner next to a curb. Underestimated and hit it. *Pooop* a sound was heard...got down from the car and there it was in all its glory...a flat tyre!...due to the sharp edges of the curb. Was cursing and had a neurotic dose of rambling by that time (sorry MM). One shit after another from last week...give me a break...puhhh leeaaseeee....spare me...I need some peace! Have mercy on me whoever is playing out my deck of cards....I've had enough...sniffff...I surrender....

MM tried to change the tyre but the nuts were screwed too tight and we decided to look for help. Was already almost 8 and no workshops were opened. I decided to take a cab home and leave the car there to be settled tomorrow morning. MM left for his weekly exercise aka Futsal and I went back up into my office. Called my dad to let him know what happened and he offered to come and pump some air into the tyre enough to drive it back home for he thought it was not safe to leave the car overnight. MM called and asked me to try the Kurnia Auto Assist service since I'm a member and I must say I am impressed with their efficiency. Took less than a hour for someone to come and replace the puntured tyre with the spare one. What's more the
Kurnia guy was friendly and professional at the same time. Won't mind calling him again if I ever had a flat tyre again, which I hope is not TOO soon.

Didn't wanna push my bad luck. Drove home rather slowly <100 kmph, which is not my usual 'drive like the wind' way because the spare tyre was a space saving tyre and noticeably much smaller than the ones used. Got home safely, had a late dinner and now here I am blogging.

So this was my Tuesday, on top of work worries and others still actively on my confused, used and abused mind...so much for my quiet night in enjoying the ladies. Maybe I should lay low for a while till all these bad karma washes away. Feel as though a dark cloud has been hovering above me. Sigh, what a month it is turning out to be and tomorrow's only the 11th day. What more is in store?

Sigh, I give up...I wave my white flag high...

I Should Be So Lucky...

Life is hard to get by when we do not accept and question things that happen. Particularly, more so often and especially when something bad or terrible occurs, unexpectedly or otherwise, and affects us emotionally and mentally. Life as it is, goes on unperturbed, not standing still for us...like it's rushing to meet a deadline. Not putting itself on hold for us to breathe, even for a moment...leaving us gasping for air...

It's Sunday and Monday will come again, naturally. As I reflect, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me...still trying to digest everything that has happened. I asked for a sign and hence I got not one but a few over the weekend...just afraid to make a move, too scared in my zone... my head already knows, but my heart won't let me go...afraid to close one door and open another...and I'm just hanging on to God knows what I'm hanging on to...I just wished I knew what I wanted and had no hesitation to go for it or work towards it...that's what I've come to realised, know what you want and you won't get caught in the rut..in the ville of complicatedness. As Kylie sings in the lines of her famous song..."In my imagination, there is no complication"....sigh, if only...

I hope in time to come I will surface and not sink deeper than to where I've been. If I do sink deeper and choose the point of no return, I pray for the strength of a lion to face whatever obstacles that lie ahead and see it through. However, the pain of holding on is getting more painful than the pain of letting go...Nevertheless, as always with matters of the heart, it just creeps up to us and there's no place we can hide from it. It clouds our practical judgement and makes us fools...

*Inhale...exhale...I take a long hard breath...another week coming up...just breathe...assuring myself that things will get better and if this is as good as it gets then it is a shitty life…and I have no one but me, myself and I to blame. After all, isn’t life what we make of it? I am rather skeptical currently on my ability to make decisions and I am torn in between...but if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a single thing...although the pain of knowing is something I will have to carry with me for the rest of my life…

Undoubtedly, we all wanna be happy and fill whatever granted time we have on earth with as much joy, fun, laughter and happiness as possible. In this earth, in this world where the visions that surround brings tears to the eyes...and all that's around are secrets and lies...

Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Everything Happens For a Reason...

A good jello friend of mine and I bought a spaghetti top, as red as a Ferrari during our uni days in Perth that had those words. Happens to be one of our all time favourite lines that has proven itself until today. Throughout the years, I have customised it...'Everything happens for a reason...you might not know why now...you will, sooner or later' is what I have added on...when you finally know why it will be like an awakening...a new dawn, a new day... until then some of us will fester and rot, pondering the reasons to everything unexplained...

Causing a jam...

This weekend was an unforgettable one for all the wrong reasons...

Was so looking forward to some Mambo-ing on Sunday. Had the retro spirit in me the minute I woke up on Sunday, eager to dance the night away... and to officiate the first day of May I had to do it with a Bang!...

Travelling home on the infamous Federal Highway, I had an accident. Car in front of me jam braked. I couldn't stop in time and was sandwiched in between mine and the car in front of him. To make matters worse, the whole entire gang bang so called spoke Mandarin except for yours truly here. What can I say? I'm a typical OCBC (orang Cina bukan Cina). I understood what was being said but in a state of panic and trying to find the proper words to answer and considering my 'excellent' Chinese vocab...I was lost in translation.

Fortunately, I was saved by a 'white knight'. Everyone seemed at home with him due to his apparent useful language skills. Proceeded to lodge a police report, managed to get off less from the fine from 300 to 150 bucks, settled with the tow truck guy (who's pretty cool in a way, not the sleazy liar cheaterbug conman type) and the insurance guy before heading home to get ready for Mambo. Yes, I still had the mood to groove...was not gonna let one accident spoil what I have been looking forward to for a week. No sirree! And Mambo I did...

I am in a current state of being car-less now. You never know what you've got till it's gone...so true...I miss my Metallic Warrior. Sigh...I feel so immobile. Anyway...talk about Capricornian fate...FF was also involved in an accident and on the same day! But hers was a minor one.

Check out her blogspot (http://www.fay0108.blogspot.com/) for more details. Another similarity to add to the record huh babe?

Oops! I did it again...

Today was supposed to be a Shitty Saturday...

Had some time in the morning to spare before work and enjoyed some pampering - my fornightly session of indulging in a manicure and pedicure. Don't ask me why but I was born with freakingly hard nails which are impossible to cut and shape on my own. Therefore, for the longest time I have left it to the devices of the professionals to work their magic on them. Love the after-effect feeling where your nails feel like a million dollars and look prettily perfect.

I've finally found what I was not looking for...a collar chain. Have you ever been in a situation where you know you're looking for something but don't know exactly what it is until you find it? Well, what happened is in the my-luuuurve-for-shopping context. After my pampering session, I realised I still had time to spare and sure enough my ever functioning and dependable shopping radar in me located a boutique. Was looking at what was for sale and in a glass display, I fell in love....with a collar chain. Knew I wanted it the minute I laid my eyes on it. It was love at first sight. Told myself, "Hhmm...this is what I've been wanting...I've found it!" but the other part of me said "No, you weren't, you're just giving yourself an excuse to buy it. You didn't even know you wanted something like this". I succumbed to the shopaholic in me and bought the collar chain. To my delight it came with a tiny suede purple (my all-time favourite colour!) pouch. "It's a sign", I said to myself. I was meant for the chain and it was meant for me and we shall live together, happily ever after...retail therapy once again IS the best therapy...I've fallen in love an infinity of times in the retail sense...and I am still paying for it...but in the gents departments I can safely say I reflect a true Capricornian but is this something to shout about?...hhmmm...

Anyway...Drama Queen alert! Remember in my previous blog I brought up the fact that sometimes we just want to wallow in self pity? Oops! I did it again...FF and I were dreading today. We were originally scheduled to work for the long weekend much to our reluctance but somehow, everything worked out for the better and we needed to report to work only today. Leaving us our remaining long weekend to enjoy, free as two birds in the sky. Sigh, must admit that my endless complaining and whining for the past few days seems so irrelevant now. Was telling KG, "I hope tomorrow never comes" the day before. *Smack! I take it back now...see how reality plays you and hits you in the face? Enough said.