of Bad Genes and Steroids...

I saw two different doctors yesterday.

In the morning, I visited my consultant opthalmologist. Left eye was giving me problems again and decided to paint itself red. Told her I needed an instant cure as I'm going to rehab very soon. Eye drops and cream, both containing steriods were prescribed.

In the evening, my family MD because I was having back pains. Yes, back pains at 27 (well, technically I'm 26). Could not straighten my body and was walking at a 90 degrees angle like a hunchback. Apparently, I pulled a ligamen. The pain was so severe until tears were rolling down my eyes when I was being inspected. I demanded to be jabbed with steriods. My ass was numb for an hour after. Don't ask me what I did. No, this was not the result of violent sex contrary to the belief of my colleagues. I don't know. It just happened.

Now I know what it feels like for my dad. How is it that we mostly inherit bad genes from our parents? Bad genes seem to be more dominant and aggresive - allergy problems (e.g. asthma, eczema), gastric, diabetes, hypertension, heart problems etc. Short of taking a DNA test, this is one way in which we can confirm whether we're biological or adoptive.

When I was very much younger, I had this notion that I was adopted as I don't look like my parents. The Cantonese serials that were running in local TV channels at that time contributed further to the idea. You know, how one child always has abandonment issues - poor family, raised in a more priviledged environment, comes to find out the truth about his or her background yada-yada-yada. I innocently asked my mom and she just laughed it off, "Yeah we picked you up from the beach". I was born in Pantai Medical Centre hence the pickup location. She told my dad and he shook his head, wrapped his palms on my face and said in an assuring tone, "Darling girl, how can you think you are adopted? Must not watch too much TV. You belong to us ok?".

Yup, I do belong to them and thanks to bad genes, I know I am indeed my father's daughter.

Must clear leave allocation. Fleeing country.

Amy W's hit song was playing on my mind when I told daddy's missus.

"I'm going to rehab mummy...yay-yay-yay".

Well, MY kind of rehab.

"Cannot just stay at home and rest? Soon you'll have to buy a bigger cupboard again!"

I replied, "No-no-no. I will go-go-go".

"Isn't that a George Michael song?"

*LOL* My mom never fails to be ignorantly funny.

And bounce back to Georgy mode I did.

laaaa... la la laaaa...

Wake me up before you go-go

Cos' I'm not planning on going solo...

Everything She Wants

Somebody told me
Boy, everything she wants is everything she sees
I guess I must have loved you
Cause I said you were the perfect girl for me
But now we're six months older
And everything you want and everything you see
Is out of reach, not good enough
I don't know what the hell you want from me

Somebody tell me, won't you tell me
Why I work so hard for you?
All to give you money
All to give you money
Some people work for a living,
Some people work for fun
Girl, I just work for you
They told me marriage was a give and take
Well you showed me you can take
You've got some giving to do

And now you tell me that you're having my baby
I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to
But one step further and my back will break
If my best isn't good enough
Than how can it be good enough for two?
I can't work any harder than I do

Somebody tell me, won't you tell me
Why I work so hard for you?
All to give you money
All to give you money

Why do I do the things I do?
I'd tell you if I knew
My God, I don't even think that I love you

How could you settle for a boy like me,
When all I can see is the end of the week
All the things we sign
And the things we buy
Ain't gonna keep us together
It's just a matter of time

My situation never changes
Walking in that manner through that door
Like a stranger
But the wages I give you
All you say you want more
And all I can see is the end of the week
All the things we sign
And the things we buy
Ain't gonna keep us together
Girl, it's just a matter of time

Poor boy, you can feel his frustrations. *chuckle*

- From Wikipedia

A five-minute song (there also exists a six-and-a-half-minutes-long version with an added bridge), "Everything She Wants" was written from the angle of a man rapidly approaching desperation at the material demands of his partner which seems to be coming to a head, despite the amount of work he did to keep them. In a twist, the second verse took the story a step further by revealing that the woman was pregnant but the man could not find any happiness in the announcement because of the extra pressure a baby would put upon him. Although Michael bemoaned much of Wham!'s material as he began his solo career, "Everything She Wants" remained a song of which he was proud, and he continued to perform it in his shows.

One of the few songs that Georgy Michael wrote and sang during his Wham! days that had a female referral before he came out of the closet. Did she push him to the brink? To the love for the same sex? My bosstress said, "He was always gay lar?!". Hhmm, ok. Point taken. Notice that most songs written by homosexuals do not refer to any gender in particular. Georgy's solo piece, 'Careless Whisper" is an example.

I love this song. Love the synthesizers. Gets my head bopping and body shaking. After all, I'm a retro girl at heart and if this song manages to light up my being and cheer me up, it works for me. It works for me indeed :). What's more, Georgy's proud of it STILL.

la laaa...la la la....

Somebody tell me, won't you tell me
Why I work so hard for you?
All to give you money
All to give you money

*Ssshhh

It's Butterfly Cupcakes Day!

And I'm a happy camper. For a dose of a mini happy is always good.
Might be wishful thinking but I would like to believe nothing can spoil my day today.

Sigh, the magic 49 mini cupcakes can do... :)

- pic titled 'Butterfly Kisses'

Of Nicotine & Weed

"He may not be the perfect one but he's good for me."

The answer given by a friend who's in a state of sentimental satisfaction with her relationship, to the question of whether the guy she's been seeing for almost two years now is The One or otherwise.

"May not be perfect but good for me..."
"May not be perfect but good for me..."
"May not be perfect but good for me..."

Her words echoed in my mind...
She picks all the weed and only keeps the flowers.
A kindred spirit she is, and I love her for it.

We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities.
- Jacques Jacques Maritain

When you know who you love... it is easier to let go if it's unrequited. It may even be easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone who is well, alive and loves you in return... one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do.

When you know who you love... you won't be able to deny it. You can pretend that you don't buy into it. But somehow clarity will see the light of day, and you will know that you know. And there’s no other way than to acknowledge what’s true in your heart and soul.

Among all that has been said about Love, if one has to learn from it, ultimately it is a lesson to be learned through someone. And learn best we will, when we love with no safety net to cushion a blow. When this person becomes our nicotine.

When love is good, it embraces you. Like the sky around the moon. When it's not in your destiny, the more you feel, the less you're whole.

Exactly...

Taken from Ms. Redd's blog.It tickled me.

The Secrets We Keep

We say that we are being honest, and that’s what we want in return. But we all have secrets to keep, actions speak louder than words.

Sometimes they are our secrets, some for friends that we keep. Some can be very obvious, some are hidden down deep.

Sometimes they are simple, no harm would be done if told. Sometimes the secrets we keep, would cause havoc to unfold.

You can have a shared secret, that is kept from others you know. But they eventually become known, as they expand and grow.

Sometimes our lovers have secrets, and it’s the reality that we fear. Our hearts already know the truth, but we still accept what we hear.

Sometimes we are not as happy, as we thought we would be. But the secret of convincing others, is what might make it a reality.

Sometimes people can see our secrets, a mistake we are trying to hide. Sometimes an outsider looking in, can see them in our eyes.

Sometimes we keep a secret, to avoid hurt feelings to some. And sometimes it’s to avoid, a relationship coming undone.

The reasons for secrets are different, there is no one that is immune. What seems like a secret to me, might just be the silence from you.

Some will deny they have secrets, that make it hard to sleep. But everyone has secrets, that we feel the need to keep.

I have the urge to click on the 'order' button. $18.45 for 288 pages of anonymously kept secrets... for we all have a darker side, a place where no one will find. Hidden in the confines of our minds, we tell ourselves that we are fine. Afraid to stand up to the pain, our secrets are locked in chains.

I want this cake.

Isn't it just lovely?! Looks too good to be eaten, to be processed by our stomachs, only to end up in our intestines as waste. I certainly won't allow candles to be placed on it. There will be poke marks!

To Wabbit,
It is your responsibility to get me this beautiful baking creation for my birthday, for you gave me the link to it. I will love you long long time. Terima kasih banyak-banyak :)

My wings are spread and I'm prepared to take flight.

Because...

The soul is feeling restless again.

The urge to fly away and nest somewhere is like a hunger pang.

Pie of Life

"Sometimes when you put them all together at one go, the whole world seems to be against you..."

What do you do then? Segregate? How does one do that? Enlighten me please. Can't help it if one affects the other, you know. It's the domino effect. Not even a piece of the pie tastes good right now. Not one fraction is on the up and up. I can only use the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion. Happy - smile. Sad - frown. I feel what I feel.

After all, a person's feelings is the only thing that's real about them.

I work in the one leg-kick all department...

... where aggravation cost is like our age. It goes up but never comes down.

Various personal messages displayed on MSN today.

• Colleague 1: tired....tired...
• Colleague 2: confusing friday...
• Colleague 3: wish to be totally invisible
• Colleague 4: stressed

Thank God the weekend is here. I am looking forward to doing absolutely nothing work related for 48 hours. However, I have a feeling that this blissful notion will be ruined... think iron stained blouse. Sigh.

Ladyboss said, "I don't have any particular preference. If you think he is going to drive you crazy, then I let you decide. You're already drowning."

Do you hire someone if his credentials and experience are the best fit for the position among all the other candidates you've seen but your instincts tells you otherwise? From my experience, one must always trust their instincts but the fact is, I need someone to lift some burden off my shoulders. And I'm close to being desperate.

*ponder, ponder, ponder*

What is your domain name worth?

Mine is worth $40.

For $29, you can purchase a domain appraisal. For $49, a premium domain appraisal.

I rather spend it on shoes. Seriously.

Curious? Check the value of yours here.

You Lucky Biatch

From the Scratch and Win promotion at 1U...

She won a 3D2N stay at Bali Club Med.

Then jewellery from My Diamond.

And this just in, she scratched a Sony Bravia LCD TV today.

Now who says shopping is a waste of time and money?!

Some girls have all the luck. *slap slap BD*

Sigh. My shopping trip didn't do me justice. My least purchases ever in Singapore. This is record breaking. Items count: A jacket, a casual top, Esprit slippers and MAC makeup. Even C&K disappointed. Current season was not to my fancy and I only bought a pair of sandals!

As for Mrs. Bratman, she was worth the free tix and the 2 hours it took for my brother and I to get back to our uncle's house after. Yup. 120mins. Public transportation was affected as it was an event filled weekend. The woman can't dance but she sure can sing. With her spilling assets, platinum blonde hair and provocative video played during the interval, she did deliver. I am a revived fan with a pink baby-t from the merchandise counter. And although I am hoping for a Brit-Brit comeback, I have been officially Aguilera-ised.