Private Emotions

Every endless night has a
dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby
can't you see
You're the only one who can
shine for me

It's a private emotion that fills
you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired and your
heart is weak
Do you think of love as a
one way street
Well it runs both ways,
open up your eyes
Can't you see me here,
how can you deny

Every endless night has a
dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes alot to laugh as your
tears go by
but you can find me here till your
tears run dry

The day came when Ricky M decided to announce to the world that he is queer. I reckon it has been general knowledge to everyone. No big surprise. No shock factor. No WTF expression. As I am, a song came to mind - no, not 'Shake Your Bon-Bon' but the one above which happens to be the only song of his that I actually liked listening to. While getting ready for work yesterday, I remembered. I remembered the music video directed by Francis Lawrence with the fire and ice element, and I remembered that period (and what followed after) in my life when the song was released.

Songs have the power to transport you back to the past.

They say don't look back unless it's a good view. Well I can say for sure that life then was a bed of roses. My world was like a snow globe and I, the main attraction until I decided to break the glass and explore the world outside against general consensus. It was a choice I bravely made without any hesitation and I took the plunge with faith and hope, with enthusiasm in my heart. I knew there would be challenges but it was a known-unknown. In other words, I foresaw what might happen but couldn't possibly predict when it was going to take place. However, I felt no fear knowing the unknown as I had to experience it on my own, for myself. I lived and I learned, and would not have had it any other way.

"In 20 years, you'll be more disappointed by what you didn't do than by what you did do." -Mark Twain

I was a work-in-progress and I grew up, to be the girl I am today. Life is a journey of discoveries. Therefore, I am still a draft version of the complete artwork whose final resting place will be in a beautiful black vintage coffin one day before it burns to ashes.

Have you ever thought about how different it would be if you never met the one person who changed everything? You could be someone else and living another life today.

One Day, I Slowly Floated Away...

It's gonna be a long weekend but no sense of dreading here. No sirree. With Good Friday coming up and Bi's birthday in a week's time, in which we have R&R plans of our own to escape the evil forces of work and to simply celebrate his existence :).

Sneak preview of what's in store. I love the 'floating' bed and the vintage red bath tub in the outdoor. Certainly looking forward to soaking in it until my fingers and toes get all pruny.

There's only gonna be, fabulosity.

Gabrielle Bonheur "Coco" Chanel (19 August 1883 – 10 January 1971)

"There is a time for work.

And a time for love.

That leaves no other time."

A Sir and a Queen

Whenever I come upon the word ' cliff', the image of Cliff Richard will appear. Well, Sir Cliff Richard to be exact, and two of his more famous songs will start to play in my mind.

One of these songs is 'Some People'. Little did I know, Sir Cliff was born to Anglo-Indian parents i.e. which means he is actually of British and Indian ancestry. Hhmm, a similarity (if you see where I'm coming from next) to Freddie 'Bohemian Rhapsody' Mercury who was a Parsi (a member of the larger of the two Zoroastrian communities of the Indian subcontinent) and who grew up in India, in an island called Zanzibar, until the age of 17 when he and his family fled to England. Interesting findings, I reckon. Always surprises me, what I find on Wiki. Never know when information like this will be useful and needed in future. Who knows, it might stand between me and a million dollars one day.

Someone used to tell me insistingly that Sir Cliff is gay and that is why throughout the years, he has remained a bachelor. I was younger then and refused to consider the possibility but that was years ago and my naivety has faded since. If this is indeed true, it will mean another similarity with Freddie. "I am as gay as a daffodil, my dear" was one of his most famous quotes. Gay or otherwise, they are gifted artists who have made their mark and impacted the world with their music.

Without variety, the world would be monotonous. However, variety inevitably creates the breeding ground for sin to grow but miracles do happen and love flourishes, amidst the chaotic and cruel realities life sometimes showcases for us to see, to feel, to experience but most importantly, to learn.

Some people they tease one another
Take pride in themselves
Keeping the other one down
Well I'm not like that at all
Some people they hurt one another
They love to see
Hurt in the other one's eyes
Well I'm not like that at all
Some people are born for each other
They love to walk
Holding the other one's hand
They always understand
Some people cry some people know why ohh
Some people they use one another so aimlessly
Not like lovers do
Well I'm not like that at all
Some people they long for each other
They love to talk
Holding the other one's hand
They always understand
Some people cry some people know why
With a word unspoken with a voice unheard
When a thought is broken by a tender word
When a heart is moved when a heart is thrown
The silence tells you you're not alone
Some people they long for each other
They love to talk
Holding the other one's hand
They always understand
Some people cry some people know why some people
(some people are born for each other)
They love to walk holding the other one
(some people they long for each other)
They love to talk holding the other one

The Secret to Happiness

So have we solved the secret of happiness?
I believe so.
Are you going to tell me?
Yes. Ready?
Ready.
Be satisfied.
That's it?
Be grateful.
That's it?
For what you have. For the love you receive. And for what God has given you.
That's it?
He looked me in the eye. Then he sighed deeply.
That's it.

-from 'Have A Little Faith' by Mitch Albom

Once again, a pleasant work of non-fiction from Mr. Albom. Another book with the same conviction I had along 'Tuesdays with Morrie', where I read certain pages twice, thrice in certain chapters, like the conversation above between Mitch and his rabbi, Albert Lewis. To me, you get your money's worth when you find yourself smiling contently as you turn the pages. And I'm not one who can easily make a happy or friendly expression in which the corners of my mouth curve up :)

There will be hoping and wishing till the end of the month. And if things materialise, it will be a major happie, no doubt. Here's to reality coming true, my style. My style, my terms.

Else, I will be satisfied and be grateful for what I have. For the love I receive. And for what God has given me. I already am. However, we're only human after all. Sometimes we need a reminder to switch on the light in our soul, to affirm what we already know within ourselves, as life takes it toll while we're in the endless pursuit of our dreams. This is where we need to stop and pause... for a moment and realise what truly matters most. For the things that matter most, are not exactly 'things'.

A Woman and Her Heels

You know what they say?

"You've gotta bite your heels before they bite you..."

We both went home with shoe boxes yesterday after enjoying our favourite Japanese soup dish, Oden for dinner. Him with his new Geox brown loafers and yours truly with her SalFerra Carla in lilac purple. Yesterday, mini happies came in the form of shoe boxes and its space within. 'Italian' mini happies, to be exact.

Imagine this - a hot and chiselled Italian hunk busy making Bi's loafers/my heels somewhere in a scenic village off Rome, where sweat trickles down his forehead as he leans over to take a closer look at the work of art he has produced. I blame the mind, for it conjures thoughts. Realisation: We have been going Italiano on several things lately, consciously or otherwise. Hhmm...:)

It’s Thursday… and I smell the Popystarz Weekend approaching. *jiggy jiggy*

Hanno una favolosa Venerdì, Sabato e Domenica... Viverla al meglio!

Anonymity is Freedom

Pop!... goes another Anonymous someone.

Well, all good things must come to an end they say, so will this freedom in allowing anonymity to flourish here because to me, this privilege has been abused. I've had my last laugh.

Yes, there is freedom in anonymity. Unfortunately, it highlights lack of individuality and cowardice behaviour when misapplied. In this sense, when used with ill intent.

From now on, if YOU have something to say to me, you will have to grow some balls and be YOUrself alright? You know who you are, so do I :).

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...
It's MY blog and I'll do what I want to...

Weekends... Among the things we live for.

You are the bridge that links me back to sanity, everytime I fall.

It has been a while since I blogged. Almost 3 weeks. A wonderful February passed by (hhmm, I think I'll caps it). Wonderful February (there, more apt to the magnitude) - family time achieved and holidays well enjoyed. Then it was back to the grind...

The light at work is dim, it's flickering like a bulb in an old house basement and pretty soon it will stop and everything will go dark. I am hoping for a glimmer of hope and pray that it will realise, materialise in reality. Other than matters of my career bringing my spirits down, the other aspects of my life are doing pretty darn good, I'd say. Well, it's a consolation but I've got no complains. Better than having everything tumbling like a deck of cards with nothing to hold on to and draw strength from. I am attempting the 'look on the brighter side of things' perspective and it's working out so far considering Capricorns are known pessimists by nature.

It is already March. Sigh, how time flies. The first quarter of 2010 will be over before we know it. I am not clairvoyant (although it would be nice to see what's ahead, selectively) but I know this year will be different. Good different. I can confidently say this because I've not been betrayed by my instincts thus far. Seized mini happies, I have and together, these fond memories will help lay the foundation towards major happies.

Some decisions are decisions, not just based on feelings. And when this kind of decision happens, our head and heart are unanimously aligned. I reckon this is when we are truly set free from our past and where we discover the willingness to let go naturally, of worries that flood our thoughts. Memories haunt, but only if you allow them to. There are some things you just can't say out and it's best kept this way. It's between you, yourself and God. The exclusive trinity.

Step by step. Step by step is the approach as I turn the pages and enter into the future chapters of my story. I cannot worry too much about tomorrow, much less about tomorrows that seem far away currently but I can manage my now, keep the faith and leave the rest in His good hands. Come what may, I believe He has my best interests at heart. He always has, and this I know will continue for all my days to come.

You are the bridge that links me back to sanity, everytime I fall.

I'm reminded of this comforting fact, everyday when I look at you.

SYVBM.