Christmas is coming in a month’s time! It is the season of giving AND the season for marrying too. The amount of weddings that have taken place and soon to be happening is absurd. All of a sudden, everyone seems to be making a beeline into matrimonial mania. Perhaps it’s the age I am going to be in soon - Mid twenties and the fact that most of my friends are in their late twenties. Once again I can hear the words of aunties echoing in my mind saying, “Time to get married lar…when’s your turn?!” repeated everytime I attend a family wedding. Oh well, slash ignore, I am not feeling the pressure yet.
Heck, do not conform to the norm! If you were to jump on the bandwagon and get married when everyone is doing it, somehow I feel it will lack lustre. Yours will be just another wedding in a string of weddings when it could be the loveliest wedding after some time to come. For those who have planned their wedding for soon, don’t get me wrong, don’t start loading your bullets to fire at me, I’m not trying to rain on your parade. A wedding is a beautiful occasion whenever, wherever and nothing is as important as the two people who have come together in love as one. Just my thoughts on the quantity of weddings lately, not the quality.
Note to myself: Start a wedding fund. Not for thyself but for others.
Chanced upon the article below on MSN and thought of sharing it for those who have been antagonized by the wedding reaper.
‘Why aren’t you married yet?’
By Kimberly Dawn Neumann
Whether you’re single and loving it or desperately seeking Mr./Ms. Right, being hounded about your relationship status is annoying. And yet it seems to be a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation at festive family functions this time of year. In preparation for holiday party season, we asked everyone from social experts to comedians for the best answers to the “Why are you still single?” question.
Save your ego by boosting your questioner’s
“When children ask a disquieting question, adults answer the question with a question. This technique deflects the attention off of you and puts the spotlight on the questioner, and it may work for you, too. Say ‘What an interesting question. I am curious about how you made your decision to get married to fill in the name of your questioner’s partner.’ (Cold but cool answer…) This indicates that you think getting married is a decision, showing that being single isn't about being a loser but about not having made that decision yet. And as a perk, it may provide the opportunity for an interesting conversation!”
-Joni Mantell, psychotherapist and relationship coach in New York, NY and Pennington, NJ
Make your point with an extreme example
"Tell them, ’I look at marriage as an old-fashioned, patrician, indentured-slave practice that imprisons people in a backbreaking, emotionally bereft sinkhole.’” (This I won't say unless I am absolutely ‘fond’ of someone. But then again, I will eat my words if I do get married)
-Mike O’Malley, star of the CBS series Yes, Dear
Bait-and-switch your response
One all-purpose answer for anything rude is to give a big smile and say, ‘Oh, you!’ They will be baffled by it, so use their confusion to change the subject by saying ‘Now, listen’ in an urgent tone and going off on something else. Just make it clear to yourself that you don't even have to acknowledge something stupid has been said, much less answer it.”
-Ronna Lichtenberg, author of Pitch Like A Girl: How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed
Make them wish they hadn’t asked
“Try, ‘Because the doctor tells me that I get enough nagging from my mom.’ (Ha! Good one) ‘Because a couple of years ago I got a great deal on a 50 pound box of condoms, and I want to get my money’s worth.’ ‘One thing at a time. Let me get the sex change first.’ ‘Have you seen me naked?’”
-Brian McCann, writer for Late Night with Conan O’Brien
Inspire jealousy because you’re still single
“The trick is to persuade people that you're not bothered by their nosy question. Turn the undercover insult into an opportunity to impress them with responses that display your confidence, self-empowerment and sense of humor. Some ideas are ‘I’m single because I’m waiting for my perfect match, just like you did,’ ‘It takes time to separate the best from the rest,’ or ‘I’m taking my time to make sure I do it right the first time.’ (Witty with the 'I know what I want-will get what I want' touch)
- Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life and founder of www.lauriepuhn.com
Shrug it off with a snappy comeback
“My general feeling is that a rude question deserves a rude answer, but a few of my favorite ways to deflect the attention are:
‘It gives my mother something to live for.’ (I like!)
‘Johnny Depp is taken.’ (I like too!)
‘Just lucky, I guess.’
‘I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo-doll rituals.’”
-Linda Sunshine, author of Women Who Date Too Much…And Those Who Should Be So Lucky
Drop some science on the situation
“Defuse the comment by saying that studies have shown that marrying at a later age increases the odds of the marriage lasting. The younger you are, the more likely it is that you’ll grow in different directions. But when you’re older, you’ve got a better idea of who the person is and that they’re going to stay that way.” (Intellectual answers)
-David Givens, Ph.D., anthropologist and author of Love Signals
Smile and move on with savvy
“Don’t flip out if someone hits you with the question. Remember that the holidays are a tense time and people might just be looking for conversation-starters. Try to go into these parties, if you have to go, with a good attitude and respond good-naturedly. ‘Thank you for recognizing how high my standards are,’ (I like three!) or ‘No one has been smart enough to ask me yet’ are good responses. Or just say, ‘That's a good question, I've never thought about it before!’ and walk away with a huge smile on your face.”
-Joyce Newman, media relations/communications expert and founder of The Newman Group
