Life Cycle

It seems that there is a standard timetable to go through life nowadays that corresponds with one’s age.

Time to study? 18-22
Time to work? 22-55
Time to buy a house? 30-40
Time to get married? 27 - 35
Time to have kids? 30-40
Time to retire? 50-55

Let’s take the most evidently impactful among the above as an example which is undoubtedly marriage and kids. Makes sense knowing that these two will be the biggest commitments that anyone will undertake in their life. Moreover, it is in the mechanics of the human species to procreate and multiply. I’m sure that many have felt the nudge given by parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles etc when they are at the 'ripe' age. Some automatically fit themselves into the mould while others tend to drag on a little but eventually succumbing to requests or obligations.

The thing is...have we stopped, taken a breather…and ask ourselves what is it that we really want? Are we doing the very thing that makes us brings us joy OR giving in to make others happy? Do we want to live our lives according to what is governed by the society around us? To what is acceptable and adhering to the so-called standard guidelines in the book of life culture has created? Simply just because it is the normal ways of the world...?

Of course, there are always the rebels with a cause. Those who choose to not conform to the norm and have decided at a point to steadfastly live their life differently.

To have relationships but never settling down.

To live with their partner but never heading down the aisle.

To be blissfully married but never starting a family.

To be single but having a child of their own.

To never owning a property and renting throughout their life.

To never be swallowed by the material monster of the world and leading a simple life.

To have no commitments, be in love with the world and seeing as much of it as possible.

May not always be the easiest choice to make as there are those who will not understand, those that stare with cold eyes but as long as the doings of someone does not break the law or hurt anyone in the process, who’s to point fingers? I don’t see the wrong in taking the bold step. If feelings are at risk, then it is a question of whether one can accept and live with the consequences of their actions. We have all but one life to live. Heck, if we do something that someone does not favour and if it does not affect their live in any way whatsoever, then so be it unless we care about them. We can’t always make everyone happy all the time. Sometimes we have to turn on the narcissist button inside ourselves. Life is not fair anyway. For every win, someone must fail. Inhale and exhale, life continues.

If the culture does not work for you, don’t buy it.

Morrie Schwartz in ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’

The saddest thing would be to find out later on in life that where you are, who you are is due to conformity and you realize it is not something you can continue living with. Think Julianne Moore’s character in the movie The Hours for those who have watched it. Bear in mind, I do not discriminate those that buy the culture. I am happy for them. I will dance with them in their parade and not rain on it. There is nothing wrong with following the norm...it’s a matter of whether we find happiness in it or not.

For me, the notion to be different is like a seed that is ever growing in me and I am yet to find out my calling. Will I bloom to be one of those rare beautiful flowers or be among the jolly lolly green grass that is spread out in the open field? Either or, neither nor…let me reiterate once again that there is no right or wrong path as long as one can live with themselves and gain contentment.

Only God above knows what’s in store and what I will ultimately do with the rest of my life. But what I know is that I don’t want to live with poignant anxieties that stem from bittersweet memories.

Sigh...I AM my own worst enemy.