Clueless & Restless Spirit
Crash. Boom. Bang. Gosh, it’s already February. Seems like yesterday when I was at home and watching the new year fireworks on TV and hearing it from a distance at home. Before we know it, a quarter of the year will be over, then two, then three and then 2007 will be around the corner.
Sigh, there are days when I am just clueless about my life. Where I am with it, what I’m doing with it and where it’s heading. And today is just one of those days.
I see people flying high in their careers.
I have just started a new one and feeling pretty skeptical about it.
I see people buying their houses and upgrading their cars.
I am not financially secured enough for my own place yet and still stirring the same set of wheels from the day I started working.
I see people travelling everywhere, to different parts of the world.
I have not been on a holiday since last Chinese New Year.
I see people deciding, settling down, getting married and having kids.
I don’t know if the longing to be a mother would ever fill me but I do want to get married someday.
I see people obtaining PR status in other countries and leaving soon.
I am stuck here because I did not have enough points to qualify for an Australian PR years ago.
Always felt like I don’t belong here. Although this is my home. Feng Shui master I visited once said that I was born with ‘foreign blood’. Perhaps this is why I’ve had a yearning of wanting to live and work somewhere else. Somewhere overseas. Somewhere Western. For as long as I can remember. For the longest time.
...Perhaps this is why I prefer to eat anything with fork and spoon. Seriously anything.
...Perhaps this is why every now and then I get restless, frustrated and not contented with myself.
...Perhaps this is why I was the happiest when I was studying in Australia. Those were the days.
...Perhaps this is why I’m not quite bothered about brushing up on my half past six Cantonese and hopeless Mandarin. Although I know I should at least try.
...Perhaps this is why I will pack my bags, be ready to go and leave without hesitation if the opportunity strikes.
Sigh, there are days when I am just clueless about my life. Where I am with it, what I’m doing with it and where it’s heading. And today is just one of those days.
I see people flying high in their careers.
I have just started a new one and feeling pretty skeptical about it.
I see people buying their houses and upgrading their cars.
I am not financially secured enough for my own place yet and still stirring the same set of wheels from the day I started working.
I see people travelling everywhere, to different parts of the world.
I have not been on a holiday since last Chinese New Year.
I see people deciding, settling down, getting married and having kids.
I don’t know if the longing to be a mother would ever fill me but I do want to get married someday.
I see people obtaining PR status in other countries and leaving soon.
I am stuck here because I did not have enough points to qualify for an Australian PR years ago.
Always felt like I don’t belong here. Although this is my home. Feng Shui master I visited once said that I was born with ‘foreign blood’. Perhaps this is why I’ve had a yearning of wanting to live and work somewhere else. Somewhere overseas. Somewhere Western. For as long as I can remember. For the longest time.
...Perhaps this is why I prefer to eat anything with fork and spoon. Seriously anything.
...Perhaps this is why every now and then I get restless, frustrated and not contented with myself.
...Perhaps this is why I was the happiest when I was studying in Australia. Those were the days.
...Perhaps this is why I’m not quite bothered about brushing up on my half past six Cantonese and hopeless Mandarin. Although I know I should at least try.
...Perhaps this is why I will pack my bags, be ready to go and leave without hesitation if the opportunity strikes.
posted by Perfectly Flawed® at 10:57 pm
2 Comments:
Though we may not have met as often as we used to, just want to let you know I am still following your blog. May your opportunities come real soon.
Thanks babe :)
Gonna miss you when you're gone. Sniff.
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