Changing You, Changing Me

She picked up her first cigarette the day he said goodbye.
She quit because he didn't like the smell that lingered on her.
She went back to the habit when they broke up.
 
They say never change for anyone, even more so for the one we love for we should be loved just the way we are.
 
I believed in this, I still do but I think I have somehow shifted my perspective a little.
 
The thing is, what if we changed in the context that we were willing to but with a slight tinge of hesistance?
 
That it was voluntarily reluctance after some excessive nagging, countless disagreements and endless expressions and pursuits of individuality?
 
That it was all in the name of peace and betterment of a relationship. That it was because of Luuurvvve...
 
Are we still fundamentally a 'Me, Myself & I' entity? Have we then changed the basics of us?
 

...................
 
Here goes my thoughts...
 
If we change because of someone and if we do it willingly but hesitantly, voluntarily but reluctantly, there's no harm done. HOWEVER, the person who influenced the change or to whom the change was intended for should be and MUST be worth it. 
 
To determine their worth,  no one can calculate this but us alone where we have to evaluate for ourselves with the use of our heart and head. But ever so often, it is the heart that takes up a huge portion. No use in denying this.

Make it clear to the person that you are changing or trying to so he/she is are aware of the fact that you are reacting towards the situation. Give and state your reason/s why.

If you derive happiness and acceptance from your (as I am putting it) 'charitable act', good on you. But if you find yourself clenching your fists and silently growing a grudge only to let it out at the most inappropriate of moments, then there has to be a re-evaluation of the change. A post mortem from the outcome of the change which has to be conducted by you AND together with the person involved.

 

However, if the person does NOT appreciate your act of charity and fails to acknowledge and make contributions in support of the change, then perhaps they're not worth it after all and you would have discovered something you didn't see initially. 

 

This is where you gain 'Clarity through Charity'.
 
Just don't say that the person made you do it, or you were forced into it, if the relationship checks into Heartbreak Hotel. After all, it was a charitable act eventhough you were hesitant and reluctant in the first place.
 
For you are your own judge and no one could have made you do it unless you obliged. 

 

And it's not like you were held at gunpoint.

 

 

WHAT SAY YOU?