FRAY-ed Coalesce Thoughts

She, is weak.

She, is in the process of trying to figure herself out.
If you had asked her where she wanted to be 21 months ago, she would have known the answer without a murmur of doubt.
But now, its all different.
She, has had her faults but she's trying...
Unfortunately, it's not enough.
But is there really an answer to her woes?

All her good intentions turn awry, she tries to reduce strife but...

(why are there always buts?)

Before, she thought relationships were quick and exciting and there didn't seem to be too much work involved. That was way back in high school or in college when no one really had to juggle a life and assume responsibilities. All the other stuff is usually taken care of.

Now, things are more complicated and relationships are huge explorations into you and who you are and where you're going. It's as if all those past experiments were leading up to these more recent extended projects, as if we were just building models before and now we're just constructing massive buildings, making sure all the details are in sync and will stay standing (if not for just a little while).

He, has shaped more of what she is now, conquered her thoughts in many moments than anyone has ever could but between these lucid moments with him, when life and meaning is crystal clear and the path seems uncluttered and obvious, there remains a clouded fog when clear blue skies are what she visualizes.

 

She thinks she allows things to be complicated. Tends to blow things way out of proportion in her head, exaggerate situations to mythical proportions; and then find out that reality is a lot simpler than she ever thought.

Sometimes it's a let down; sometimes a pleasant surprise, and with it must come acceptance, of which she has to grasp, grab hold of in that thick skull of hers.

She, has always felt that life had set a different course for her. That it was her destiny to be different. Perhaps she misinterpreted the signs. Perhaps she's just another rat in the cage and should think less. Seriously think less and actually do it. Like shopping on impulse.

Maybe she makes things more complicated because she's afraid of how simple things really are. Sometimes, a thrilling fantasy is more comforting than boring ole' reality.

They fought the last time she met Him. It was the kind of fighting that happens inside, the kind you don't talk about. She could not mutter a word but silence. However, even though they weren't saying a word, it seemed as though they were actually communicating a great deal with their silence, as though they both were experiencing a simple co-misery, a shared immersion into mood.

Things seem so simple from a distance, but occasionally reveal themselves as complex and complicated once you get closer to them.

It is never a single solution, but a sequence of actions that are required to accomplish any goal.

Sure, you push a button, but there are invisible mechanics performing what you intended to do with that click, all interrelated, all dependent on the exact timing and motion of the others. It is no surprise at all that we live our lives reacting to a series of chain-reactions set off by either ourselves or by the world. And when one element is changed in the slightest bit, it can often have an effect on everything else, even those things that seem quite far away.

Sometimes the changes are for the better, but sometimes the changes affect you like a leaking dam.

Life only brings complications if you let it. If you keep your goals and dreams simple, your Life will be that way too.

Likewise Love, can be simple... it's possession that makes it complicated and poisonous.