Sun, Sea & Sand minus the Tan

A holiday with no pictures.

Where her mind captured mental snap shots of beautiful faces, breathtaking scenery and loud empty places.
Where she felt like the minority amongst flocks of Western tourists who will spend the entire day roasting themselves barenaked, worshipping the blazing sun.
Where she was charmed by the sincere hospitality of the locals.
Where her encumbered self found some long needed peace. Being awake was the new sleep.
Where her heart was unruffled and felt stillness throughout the days and nights.
Where she let go in seeking the answers to the questions that consume and ravage her whole.

Everything will fall into its rightful place. If it's meant to be, it will be. It's destiny.
...can't hold on to all and sundry only to cause more anxiety.
...can't linger around waiting for things to happen only to be hurt yet again.
...can't rest on foolish hope for a revival only to be disappointed time and time over.
For everyone can give so much and more if things were put where they belong.

Being selfless is a virtue and she chooses it.
She is currently in the adoption process.

Every morning she wakes up and worry what's going to happen today.

She does not want to feel this wretched way anymore. She can't live under the influence of her complicatedness any longer. She's had enough of living with herself and feeding her sordidness in life and love. Little by little she's diminishing. Slowly but surely she is becoming a shadow of her former self. Where a piece of her true being is scraped off with each sunset and disintegrates into obscurity. Like a snowflake falling onto the ground. As she watches, frozen within her self inflicted pain.

It's time she tears her fears apart.

Take a risk. Take a chance. Make a change.

It's time to act up and grow up.

You dream. You wish. You make a switch.

It's TIME.